Emo: Life is Painful, Go Eat Nachos


The word Emo is short for “emotional”. It represents a type of music, personality, and fashion. Typically Emos are very sad and angry. They like to have their hair in front of their face (to hide their tears?). Emos like to wear old and beat up clothes (to conform to non-conformity?). Usually they are very shy and introverted (ashamed of their stupid hair?). Emos also listen to music with themes of confusion, depression, and loneliness (ashamed of their stupid hair?).

So what do Emos do to help hold back the tears and avoid their dark eyeliner from running? No, they don’t use waterproof eyeliner. They EAT NACHOS!

There are two pieces of evidence that help us make this conclusion:

  1. According to the Urban Dictionary, “Emo Food” is described as “Taco Bell at about 2:30pm (when school gets out).” No they are not eating Gorditas. Emo Food is “Nachos split 6 ways.”
  2. Suddenly being Emo is starting to sound interesting to us…

  3. Emo band Taking Back Sunday prepared for the long and grueling road of being on tour with a strict fitness program and diet. The gym? Strict vegan diet? Basically, their training regimen consisted of one thing: nachos.”

Ok now we all want to be Emo. If being Emo will get us on a rock band where we can tour the country and eat nachos, THEN SIGN US UP!

I’ve already started growing out my bangs since the start of this article, I’ve text-messaged my girlfriend to make sure she saves me some dark eyeliner, I’m planning on going to Savers after work to buy myself some old Chuck Taylor’s, I’ve bought 2 Death Cap For Cutie CDs on Amazon, and I’m even starting to feel a little bit angry and depressed. I can’t wait until my Emo transformation is fully complete.

18 thoughts on “Emo: Life is Painful, Go Eat Nachos”

  1. Your emo transformation will be complete when you find yourself slipping into a severe depression/uncontrollable sobfest after spilling your recently-purchased nachos on the floor.

  2. No wonder they cut themselves, they want to make nacho tattoes on their wrists
    Best article yet..

  3. You don’t get emo. You obviously do not understand what being depressed is like and you are a poser. stop trying to be something you are not, who cares about the nachos and who cares about the rock band. you are not going to get in a rockband unless you have musical talent. anyway, and people don’t like posers. they hate them. stop being someone you aren’t and get a life.

  4. oh, and i forgot to add, i really wish that people would stop making fun of emo people, we never did anything to you. we mind our own buisiness. so stop fucking being so vocal about us. you hate us. we get it. shut the fuck up. at least we’re real.

  5. i’m emo i h8 nachos wtf are you talking about i dnt know to many emos who eat nachos…pift nachos…

  6. You people should stop taking this shit so serious i have emo friends and they would laugh at that its just a fucking joke omg

  7. hahahaha im emo… thats kinda funny tho. where the fuck did u come up with the nachos tho? we eat like normal people haha.gaaay

  8. by the way emos arent fags! we’re real people hu hav feelings al u fuken retards hu dis us r just jelous becoz we arnt afraid to b ourselves u all need ta get a new habit an leave us alone we realise u dont lik us uv made ur point now shut the fuk up already!!!!!!!!!!

  9. im not really an emo sometimes i like emo
    it depends on the person if it is fitted to his or her self.. so dont blame emo’s just do ypur own business and leave them alone.. and i like emo hairstyle sometimes!
    it really rock!1

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